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Sunday, November 20, 2011

Diary Entry on a Bad Day

Is positivity a virtue? I hear that patience is but I don't have a lot of that either today. One of my friends says I am an eternal optimist (and that is why I make him want to punch me). Sometimes I don't think that is true... especially when I am having a bad day. Yes that is right everyone a bad day. And it isn't the end of the world... sorry for crying down the phone like an idiot but I have pulled myself together and it is all going to be fine.

In interviews, the question that throws me the worst is "Give an example of one of your negative personality traits"... I have only got that question twice and both times I didn't get the job. Probably because I am too honest. What is it? Besides all the truly nasty things that I refuse to admit to myself... my worst personality trait is bursting into tears when I am frustrated rather than reacting like a normal human being. How do normal people deal with frustration? Anger? Actually, anger can set off the waterworks also. With stress I am fine taking charge of the situation - stress I can handle. It's frustration that makes it all unravel. I think most employers hear that and think they are going to have to deal with someone who is overly emotional but that isn't true either. The fact is that I exhaust all avenues to solve the focus of my frustration and where there is no answer, I will happily smash my head against the immovable brick wall at least 50 times before I crack it. And even then, cracking it consists of quietly excusing myself and then bawling in the bathroom for a couple of seconds. Sounds healthy? I need to find a new worst personality trait... what about "too ambitious" which can be read as "back stabbing b!tch" or "too career focused" translation "will want a raise in 6 months" ... actually I would be happy to be hired on that basis.

I have decided that positivity is a virtue... No point dragging everyone down with me. So here are the things I am grateful for:

Only 2 subjects left before I finish my degree. Pressure is on! February 28th (ish) is the final exam. I am so excited I could use a dirty expletive! Need to decide what to do next... stay where I am? Look at graduate work? Try to find another job? Ten years at uni is a decent time/money/emotional investment, I just hope I can turn it into gold... the world is my oyster and all of that. Check out this website if you wondered... like I just did, where the phrase "the world is your oyster' comes from.

Melbourne is putting on some amazing weather for the last couple of days which has been really nice. I am getting outside heaps (daylight savings does have its upsides). In fact the plan for tonight is to go for a run down by the beach in St Kilda.

I finished the 12wbt this week. I really enjoyed it. I didn't make my goal weight because I didn't stick to the program as closely as I should have but my eating habits and fitness are so much better than they were! I am running 5km 4 or 5 days a week and have a circuit style exercise video that I do on the other days. I am smaller than when I started. If you are thinking about joining a program like Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers... I would do the 12wbt first. And actually if you just want to get moving try out Couch to 5k running program. It is awesome... I can't rave enough. I did both together and seriously feel awesome.   

And my last rave for the day... I am grateful to have a job even if I hate it, I know amazing people and have some amazing friends, my fridge is full of food because I live in a country where no one suffers from malnutrition unless they boycott vegetables by choice (which is stupidity not disadvantage) and there is a bottle of New Zealand sav waiting for me when I get home. Life is good but today sucked worse than Twilight.

xox Love to all!
Jane


 

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