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Monday, February 28, 2011

Windows 8 - it was my idea

I think I may have stumbled on the invention of a lifetime... Microsoft I hope you are reading this because it is going to be worth millions:

© 2011 by me!

The dumb-ass filter. I want my Outlook to filter emails based on the general intelligence of the sender. I also want to be able to set this filter based on my level of tolerance. It would be best actually if it was dynamic and changed with my mood.

For example... sender with low intelligence (complete dumb-ass if you will) has sent a really unimpressive email to my inbox which will a. annoy me, b. destroy the entire day due to unnecessary correction of said dumb-ass' actions, c. cause unnecessary headache in trying to decipher confusing language and or sentences, or d. all of the above

The filter is able to, based on my tolerance factor either destroy the email before it reaches me, stores it somewhere safe until I am in a better state of mind or send a response with some sort of kind message which won't make the dumb-ass feel too bad:
"We regret to inform you that your email has been flagged as "Stupid" and as such has been destroyed. Kindly re-think your position and try again"

Now the important bit... because I think that flagging an email as "to stupid to be received" should be relatively easy just by a standard IQ test, identification of excessive exclamation points or the use of a smiley face in a professional communication. So... how do you set a tolerance level? I think it would need to gauge important factors such as: how much caffeine is currently present in my blood, how many similar emails have messed up my day, whether I have had enough sleep the night before, whether the sender is a repeat offender... there are a lot of important considerations here! We might need to invest in a super computer to calculate the tolerance factor. I just did a very quick bit of research and apparently we can build this supercomputer by making a Play Station 3 cluster... just need to group a collection of PS3's together in an array so that their processing power can be used concurrently. See? Not just a pretty face! Should cost about $2500 (USD?)... anyone want to invest?

It will prevent the following:





and


(Meanwhile you know you have felt this way before)

Thank you for listening to me vent ... as you can tell I have had a stupid email (or more) today which has well and truly destroyed my getting-home-on-time-dreams. Judging by that annoying "ding" sound I just got another one... Awesome.

P.s my exam today went OK :)

xox Love to all
Jane

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