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Saturday, September 20, 2008

From the backpackers!

Hi guys,

Hope all is going well wherever you all are. Melbourne is starting to warm up. The trees look so pretty now and I swear I can see the little leaves starting to grow back! I have been doing some temporary work, still looking for the job that I want but having to take the ones I can get. Still I think Melboune is a pretty happening place and there is definately work to be had. I have been to a couple of interviews, some I liked some I didn't. Actually the interview process is an interesting one. I am sure everyone agrees with me when I say that it is pretty emotional. The reason it is emotional for me is because there are some qualities I not only think I posess but that I think are desireable traits to have and I am trying to convince the interviewer and in a small way I am also trying to reassure myself. One such example is that I think that I am a people person, I love people, I talk alot and I (arrogantly perhaps) think that people like and respond well to me. "So how would you describe your communication?" says the very polished and proffessional woman who has on offer a job worth 55K that I quite badly want. "Frequent" I reply without skipping a beat.

Ok... so I repeated this story to Darian and he just stared at me for a second with that 'wtf' look on his face. The interviewer however thought I was uproariously funny and I find myself thinking, maybe that particular joke (however true it may be) might not be appropriate seeing as I am trying to convince her that I am not only responsible but also sensible and capeable of looking after the job in a proffessional way. Oh, which brings me to another quirk of the job seeking process (or as I am calling it the 'emotional stuff around'). I am going for jobs in a corporate environment. I go in wearing very sensible high cut shirts with a very sensible jaket, streightened hair and make-up and part of me is screaming "They are not going to believe you!" I started washing dishes, working in bars (where I have to admit I was ashamed of the way I would swear in public) and finally in an industrial estate, and here I am trying to convince these people that I am proffessional and streight laced. What if I am not? I can wear nice clothes and speak like a princess but can a leopard really change it's spots? I am almost certain that I have type cast myself as the bar bi*ch or as the admin girl who can stand up to the boys. Corporate administrators are more like glamourous super women with harsh power suits and bob hair cuts. Maddona is capeable of 1 million looks and has (according to the Cosmopolitan Magazine I was reading at Starbucks a couple of weeks ago) continually re-invented herself over and over again. Not that I am comparing myself to Maddona, she is worth millions and if it came to it she could afford a new face ever month if she truly wanted too. I am working with a fraction of that budget so maybe I can afford a different shade of nail polish once a month *giggles*. Even if I could change the way I look/am, do I really want to? I kind of like myself.

I have a bit of a pro and con list going. Should I work in another industrial estate:

Pros
1, I will be in my comfort zone (no challenges, easy ride)
2, I can show experience and as such will probably find it easy to get a job
3, I do like the people
4, I don't need to wear make up and Jeans are practically the uniform

Cons
1, I should have stayed in Gladstone (no offence to Gladstonites but seriously I would have saved a lot of money and possibly would have achieved more)
2, I will make, at the absolute max 40K
3, I will be bored
4, I guess the people aren't that great
5, I will never leave my comfort zone again
6, I hate rubber dust, grease and all other forms of grime
7, I will never learn anything new

Oh ok, so that is an easier decision than I thought. I can think of so many cons that I don't want to bore myself let alone you people reading this, with any more. So the decision: I am going to continue with this temporary stuff until I find something corporate and hopefully more exciting. I actually feel more comfortable about the situation now.

I had an interview yesterday before I went to work (I am answering phones for a solar power distribution company during the afternoons) which was terrible. I couldn't have impressed these two women less if I had tried. I think the blonde one hated me from the second I walked into the room with her limp hand shake and lack of eye contact. As for the tall girl, well umm... not sure what happened there. Maybe short girls scare her? She couldn't make eye contact with me at all. Normally I find some sort of common ground fairly early on in the interview. After all I do think that I get on well with people. Not these girls though. It was weird, kind of like when you are talking to a puppy. He totally understands about a tenth of what you say to him but he stares at you with that bewildered wide eyed look on his face that makes you wonder if your nose flipped upside down without you noticing. I like talking to puppies though. I have to look on the bright side: at least I won't ever have to work with them. That is hard too though. I find myself questioning why they didn't like me. Could it be that I am clashing with their personalities just because sometimes that is what happens. Not everyone likes everyone. No its not that... the reason is that I am wrong... I am not a people person... in fact everybody hates me and it is because I am a useless person and a complete waste of everyones time. Reason must prevail! It can't be that either because I have friends and everyone thought I was awesome in my last job and pretty much every other job/place I have ever been.

So not only am I jobless I am also very confused.... clearly.... Actually having alot of fun though. When high school finished, I felt a real sense of emancipation because I didn't have to do the same thing every day, I got to choose the rest of my path. I think the same applies here. Its like bungee jumping. You choose to jump, you free fall with no real control which is frightning but exciting because you never know where it might take you. You might hit the water, the rope might break and you could die or... suddenly you are being flung back into the air again. If you twist around a little you might influence your direction but ultimately you just have to enjoy the ride. Right now I am bungee jumping and it is good!

xox I hope you are all having fun in your own personal adventures!

Jane

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